An unlikely match – if characters were Footballers

Have you ever likened a footballer to somebody you know? Most of us have done it

I must admit, I’ve done it plenty of times. My mate Griffy floats around the pitch with the grace of Iniesta, pinging balls left, right and centre – running the show for 90 minutes. But have you ever considered what some of the strangest characters from over the world would be like as Footballers? Chances are, you’re not as demented as me so you haven’t once had this thought, but in this weekly series, I’ll be taking you through some of the most bizarre oddities from around the world, and determining what footballers they’d be.

To kick the first in this series off, I’ve gone for a figure who most people will recognise from their early childhood or sat in Primary school learning how to use a computer. This creature used to pop up all the time, offering help and guidance when it was needed least. I am of course talking about Clippy – the Microsoft Office Assistant.


You may be wondering how on Earth can a Microsoft Paperclip possibly relate to a Footballer? Well, just hear me out and I’ll explain the insanity behind it, and why in my head, it made perfect sense.

The hero of Microsoft Word has probably helped us all at some point, helping to assist users with his input and disappearing at the time you needed him most…

Sound familiar?  There can only be one player who fits the bill – I am of course talking about Mesut Ozil. 

Embed from Getty Images

Just think about it, they both have the googly eyes and wiry frames. They’re both a little slow out of the blocks, but will always try to give you the plaudits. They’re more than happy to sit back, dictate and chime in when it suits.  And just look at their faces, a clear separation at birth between this famed German world cup winner and a paperclip designed at Microsoft.

Any other characters I should try and liken to footballers and validate my use for being here? Let me know in the comments.



Clippy picture courtesy of Wikia @
Featured Image courtesy of Charlie Pumfrey

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